Pelted

Splattered splashes of paint from fast-moving balls marked an eventful end to the weekend. It was nice meeting the girls again for a game of paintballs. Was a ball of a time and what a better way to remember it by having marks tattooed temporarily on your body? I am sure those who went have at least a spot to remember for quite some time.

As for me, one bump on the head, triple shots on the bum in almost the same spot and that happened at really close range?!. You really have to be shot to imagine how it will look like. LOL!

Him again.

It is times like this I question myself whether I can rise to the challenge in the profession I chose to be in. It is not going to be an easy journey ahead and can get really disheartening to see a workable lesson plan come to naught. In a real classroom situation, whatever that was pre-planned becomes a real-life drama that evolves around the actors / actresses and not the playwright. What goes well will result in praises to their cast, what goes terribly wrong will result in the playwright faulted for the lack of essence or her incapability to inspire her cast.

Or when the cast gets out of hand, the right of action belongs to the playwright but that right will not allow the person to feel a pinch or should I say the most appropriate action is not the best to take. Although, in most cases, it serves as a control and sets a deterrent for others not to follow. I am sitting on a fence on an incident that happened in class today.

I am trying, and have done whatever I thought I could do… it never is enough. Disheartening, really (or maybe, today was just a bad day. I pray for the latter).

Its that time again…

No, its not my period. Not yet! School has been doing justice to me, been having some learning experiences here and there. Today lesson, however with my 1/6 class did not go as well as planned for as I was not able to finish all the lesson objectives. Maybe I am being hard on myself, afterall, the time spent on disciplining the class would not go to waste and it is always important for people to find a reason to believe in themselves; in their goodness. But darn, I only have a 2-3 weeks left with the classes I am taking.

Perhaps one of my greatest shortcoming is trying too hard to achieve several things and even knowing that at that particular point of time, it is all that I can do… I am impatient and thus, ended up beating myself down just because of that. From past reflections, this is another event that lead me to several similar experiences I have had and this time round, I am going to take this as a learning point and transform my journey to something that elevates me to another ground.

I am going to go away and tell people, no matter what happens, I have done all I can for my classes.

PS: What do you do when someone tells you “Teachers can’t be trusted”?

You

Time, a luxury.

You, I love.

Time with you,

Pure blissful moments.

First day of school

re:B.V.

No proper timetables,
Uncomfirmed in-charge,
No classes,
Excitable students.

Happening day indeed.

Holding out

Whoa. *pulls the reigns*

Another Ubin cycling trip, dinners, outings.. and Zouk tonight.

Sleepy and in need of a dose of coffee. Till next time.

An LOL comment

Why are you so skimpily dressed?

“You desperate looking fella.”

Start of the hunt

Decided to start on a little hunt for a nice place to worship but I am definitely not returning to this church in Newton. Although a guest speaker, some really cursory comments were made on what he defined as immoral behaviour - transgenderism and he even used the scenario of a transgender person given rights to enter a female toilet if he identifies himself as a female. Playing on the children’s “vulnerability”, he then said “what would happen to my kid then…” Seriously, this assumption was totally ignorant and unfounded upon - on what basis does he think that people who decide to change their gender would be interested in his child? They are not paedophiles. And seriously… really, I do hope his mindset would change since it will influence the church and the community. Certainly, it is not reflecting well of his personal being since it is not encompassing, but full of judgment and false assumptions.

“Stranger” at the family table

My older, yet younger brother brought over his girlfriend to celebrate my youngest brother’s birthday today. It was kind of interesting indeed, to be observing a labeled stranger yet is of no stranger to my brother. She was someone to him and of enough importance to be brought to a family get-together. It was funny… funny how I was a tad bit jealous which made me question myself a little – do I not like her or is it because I am just envious of the freedom my brother has to be someone of importance to him to the dinner table?

The answer was really the latter, after all I do not really know her at all.

How far can I run till I look back?

Gaining family acceptance can be hard and doesn’t always go well with the feelings palate. It is draining, drives you absolutely nuts, leaves you emotionally drained and at this point of time, reconciliation might not be an option on the menu. Starting each course with a welling of emotions, threatening to run loose…but has to be withheld for you can’t just let it burst during the course of conversation. Therefore, I do find solace in my own space, in my own room, allowing emotions to course through me, a reminder that I am well and alive. It also serves as a:

Reminder that the new day can only get better.
Reminder that I do actually believe in my relationship as I am still holding on to it.
Reminder that I am human and have feelings afterall.
Reminder that I have friends who care.
Reminder that I am shaped by events of the present.
Reminder that a more beautiful me will surface.
Reminder that God is there taking care of me.
Reminder that I will only get better…better than the present, better than tomorrow…
Reminder that the best is yet to come…

Jeez. I will be stronger, especially infront of family, attend functions with grace, surf through it with believable ease. May not be the best of verbal expressions but I am going to take good care of inner me.